How do you unlearn something?

I am a teacher, my goal is to equip my kids with the tools that they need to be successful in life. I don't always succeed in imparting this knowledge, but I try my best to do it, and let God's grace and mercy cover my failings. In my elementary school, a verse that was a part of our mission (at least I think that's what it was from) was the verse " Train up a child in the way he should go, And when he is old he will not depart from it" (Proverbs 22:6). For a school,  that is a pretty heafty calling, and now as a teacher, I try to remember it, but what about the lessons kids learn that do them harm, what about the things they learn because of neglect, cruelty or abandonment? Can kids unlearn lessons that they should never have been taught in the first place? For example, a lesson I have learned, that is in no way helpful or beneficial to me, but something that I can't quite "unlearn" or let go of yet..... the lesson that you cannot trust or rely on anyone but yourself. I have a hard time trusting that the people in my life will be there for me, I try, I really do, but a small part of me always holds back because of fear. I knew that my dad was not someone who could be relied on to be there from day to day, and even though my mom was amazing, and I love her to death, she also wasn't always able to be there for me in the ways that I needed her growing up. So the two most important relationships that are supposed to be the models that you base all future relationships on, were not the best. Now, I am not saying all this for you to feel sorry for me, I am just giving you an example. There are many people out there in the world who have suffered far worse and seen things and had things done to them that no person should ever have to go through, those are the people my heart breaks for, and why I am asking this question. Can we move past our past, unlearn the lessons that are keeping us from a full life? Can God heal us? Will He? Or must we live with these mind sets all our lives? I believe with all my heart that He can, He does, He wants to, It hurts Him when we are broken. We were not made to be broken people.

We were meant to be whole, and He wants to make us whole again. I believe that. The tricky part is, we usually stand in the way of that healing. I know that I do! I am too scared or I sometimes think that I am not worthy or important enough to be healed, to be restored. Last night, I was praying and a few memories came to my mind, and both of them were times when I felt safe and taken care of. I don't remember many times in my life when I felt completely safe and taken care of. I am a care taker. I love taking care of others, it was my role growing up, its the role I take on with my friends, and I love it. I cannot receive it though. When someone is sick or is having a hard day, I jump right in and do whatever I can to help them (even if it is not convienient for me to do so) and I feel happy being able to do it, but if someone asks me if I need anything or want help, my default is to say no. I can deal with it, I am strong, capable, independent. I do not like to be a burden, I don't like to bother people, so even if it would be awesome to have someone come take care of me or help, I will refuse. The memories, however, reminded me of times where I let someone past my defenses and take "care" of me. One was a friend of my mom's uncle took us for a walk while we were camping, and he held my hand the whole way there and back to make sure I didn't fall or get lost. Now this may seem weird, but being from a family where physical touch was pretty much non-existant, this stood out to me as a time where I felt safe, and taken care of. The other time, was when I was late to a bridal shower casue I got lost, the brides mom, a good friend of mine, gave me a huge hug. I don't think I have ever been hugged like that in my life!! haha. It was what I always imagined a mom's hug is supposed to be like.

So where am I going with this. Well after having these memories come flooding back, naturally I was in tears, cause I was tired, it was late, and it hit me pretty hard, I kept praying about it, and God revealed to me that I need to let go of my fear, and let people take care of me more. I also need to let God take care of me more. Let His strength be my strength. Let Him fill me with His love and surround me with his presence. I need to let the walls I have built come down more and trust Him. I do trust Him, but not as much as I should. He is my refuge, my rock, and He wants to be there for me. He wants to be the person I run to when I need help or comfort. I know this, and I am starting to walk in this truth, but it's hard cause I have spent my life living in fear. Once I started thinking about it, and praying through it, the burden of always having to do everything on my own lifted a bit, and it felt good.......Remember HE IS HERE!! Always and forever, HE IS NOT GOING ANYWHERE!!!